A Stoners Guide For First Time Smokers
Legal cannabis makes it a bit more tempting to try. In some ironic way the stereotypical soccer mom is now looked at as the hero of all moms. Keeping her sh** together thanks to her legal cannabis and her glass of wine.
Leaving the “chronic” smokers shaking their heads and probably even saying to themselves “Do you even know how to smoke”?
It really is quite an interesting thought. How many new to cannabis users know how to smoke pot. Now that it’s legal. It’s fair game to those 18 or older. For the “chronic” pot head. It’s as easy as breathing. Knowing what to smoke, where to smoke or even how much to smoke. These can be questions for any new smoker to consider. For the first time “its legal now” soccer moms., you may want to ask the experts before sparking up.
Here are some need to knows before hitting that bong.
1) Who are you?
Your personality plays a huge part in what strain you should get into. Many different kinds of cannabis for all kinds of personalities. Are you an extrovert or Introvert? Are you wanting to stimulate the limbic system of the brain? Or are you looking for more of a downer? Something to help ease the stress of your day to day life. Knowing the difference between the two main strains. Indica and Sativa are very important. Many bad trips happen from people smoking up on the wrong strain.
2) Why are you smoking?
Really why are you smoking? Are you doing it to look cool? To be able to relate to your 16 year old hormone driven daughter? Are you smoking it because now it’s legal and why not? Or are you using it for the health benefits and creative benefits this plant can bring you? You won’t get the true benefits of cannabis if you are smoking it for the wrong reasons. Think of it as a relationship. You wouldn’t get into a
committed relationship with someone if you didn’t feel a connection to them. So why would you start smoking if you never felt a connection to it. Find the reason why and grow from that. That reason will be your center. When your kids come after you about cannabis and why you smoke it, you can stand firm in your reason why. Being able to educate your kids. Not giving them some bullsh** answer.
3) What type of smoker are you?
Are you a morning wake and bake ? an afternoon delight or an evening toker? Each one will affect you in different ways. Cannabis for everyone will eventually render the body sleepy or zombie like. You may feel groggy, lazy or slow. If you have never smoked before maybe the wake and bake is not for you.
4) What’s your poison?
There are many ways to take in cannabis. J , blunt, bong, one hooter, oil, hash, edible. And they can all affect the body and brain in different ways. A J is classic and gives you an easy way to inhale being able to control your intake. But knowing how to roll a J or even a blunt is the first and foremost. Of course you can always buy a pre-rolled one but that gets expensive. A J is typically made from rice paper.
Can come in many sizes and even flavors, a blunt is typically made from or with tobacco, a bong is a glass and or plastic device that will take the toke straight to the dome (head). This form involves having the lung capacity to take in a certain amount of smoke. And then hold it in, then gently breathe it out the mouth. This can be a daunting way to first toke up. Even myself, i have to take at least 4 tries to clear one bowl for a bong. Back in my “ prime time” i use to smoke cannabis with cigarettes. Gross.
5) Who are you smoking with?
This is a BIG one. For all you first time smokers. Do not i repeat do not smoke with chronic pot heads. Chronic potheads are in a whole other league. They are they best people to talk about weed with. And they will probably help you out with rolling a joint or lending you a bong. But they are not the people you want to spend your first time high with. The reason why? Because it does sound like the best people to smoke with. They have been smoking it for far too long to smoke with first time users. Chronic smokers have a joint going even before the first one is half done. And they most likely have at least 5 pre rolled joints for the trip to the grocery store. As wonderful and caring as they are.
They won’t put up much of a fight if you asked for your 4th J. They will probably chuckle say “are you sure” or “do you girl do you”. And passing you the joint that you really did not need. And as you have a small panic attack where you might feel like your going to die. Your stoner pal won’t be much help. Sorry. Honest but true. I know this because i was one of them. We can’t take you to the hospital. We can but we rather not it’s a waste of time.
Something you first time smoker don’t quite know yet. Your coughing up what you think to be your last breath. The chronic smoker has there 10th joint of the afternoon started and is most likely saying to you something like this “ Are you okay?” “ Do you want some water?” “Drink some water” “ No your not going to die.. you just smoked to much” All this will be said in some way to relaxed voice while you’re too stoned, panicking about how you can’t feel your legs. I repeat do not have your first smoke with chronic potheads. You won’t have the best of time.
Writer: Megan Thiessen Canada AB